“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5
Some of us are experts at seeing what is wrong with others. We judge others for their shortcomings or even the way they dress and talk. We even judge others for things that we ourselves are guilty of. Shocking I know – but you know we all do it! We tend to think that our thinking is right and anything that goes against it is wrong. But who are we to judge???
The passage above from Matthew is basically saying that we are incapable of seeing a person’s heart or knowing his or her relationship with God, so who are we to take the place of God in making judgments about someone else? We should be humble, knowing that we have weaknesses and are guilty of sin.
Why do we judge?
We may judge others because:
- We aren’t secure in ourselves, and it makes us feel a little better to tear others down.
- We think we know better, or maybe it’s our pride or a lack of wisdom.
I have seen judgment occur frequently – and have been guilty of it too. When I see people standing on the corner with a sign saying, “will work for food”, I tend to make the judgment that they don’t want to work and will spend any money they get on alcohol or drugs. This may be true in some instances, but I don’t know that this is the case.
There may be times in life when we are called to judge, like being on a jury or working in an area of the law. There are also times God calls on us to discern others’ actions because of their potential impact on us. And we may sometimes need to make judgments, so we don’t follow the wrong people. However, I think 90% of the time, we shouldn’t be judging!
Self-righteous Judging
The kind of judgment that is most damaging is self-righteous judging. This type of judging causes us to wrongly interpret what’s going on with someone. We may think that another woman is stuck up or conceited because she is quiet and withdrawn. However, in reality, she could have a whole myriad of things going on that cause her to appear or come across a certain way. The reality is that we all have something difficult going on in our lives and we all are broken. Self-righteous judgment can also cause us to wrongly estimate ourselves and others based on blind spots or self-deception.
Gossip
Gossip is also a form of judgment that probably most of us have engaged in at one time or another. Who doesn’t enjoy a little gossip once in a while? It can be interesting to share or hear a little dirt about someone and it makes us feel just a little bit better about ourselves, right? The reality is that by judging others in a hypocritical way, we damage our own lives by stealing our joy and peace as we know it’s not the right thing to do.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
Here are a few things you can do when you find yourself judging:
Stop yourself
Notice your thoughts and stop yourself when you find yourself being judgmental.
Seek to understand the person
Put yourself in the “judgee’s” shoes, find out their story if you can, or imagine the circumstances that may have led them to act or look as they do.
Accept the person
Accept the person for who he/she is without trying to change him/her.
Love him or her
Love the other person as a brother or sister, a fellow child of God, regardless of their age, the color of their skin, their sex, or social status.
I’ve started trying to use these tips when I find myself judging – and yes, I am still a work in progress!
This is an exerpt from Confessions of a Hot Mess: From Mess to MESSage (follow link for more information).
REFLECT
Are you sometimes guilty of judging (be honest)?
What is a recent example of a time you judged someone else?
What can you do to work towards overcoming this tendency to judge others?
