Have you felt that you were all alone? Yearned to feel more connected to others? There are likely many people that are feeling lonely under quarantine – even some that have others in the house with them. But especially those that live alone.
Most of us will go through periods of loneliness in our lives. When I separated from my first husband, the kids went to his house every other weekend. This was the first time that I had really been away from them on a regular basis. I felt so very lonely and didn’t know what to do with myself. Over time, this got better, and I actually started to somewhat enjoy my alone time. Later in life, the loneliness emerged again when my kids left for college.
There is a difference between loneliness and being alone. You can be in a crowd of people and feel lonely. You can have 500 plus “friends” on social media and feel lonely. You can even be amongst your family and friends and feel lonely.
While it’s normal to feel lonely from time to time, ongoing loneliness can have a negative impact on your life. A lonely person may exhibit symptoms like feeling tired, lethargic, and less mentally alert. He or she may experience stomach and digestive problems, and other health issues. A recent Cigna study says that loneliness is at the root of an emerging health crisis. According to one meta-analysis, loneliness increases our odds of dying early by 45 percent. People who struggle with loneliness may turn to behaviors or substances (often unhealthy) to numb the pain. A few examples include alcohol, drugs, retail therapy, and media.
David experienced great loneliness and felt forsaken. Instead of blaming God, David drew close to God in his loneliest moments as is indicated in the Scripture below.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fierce they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord, is in you.” Psalm 25:16-21
Even Jesus experienced loneliness!
- He was despised and rejected by men (Isaiah 53:3)
- The disciplines forsook Him and fled (Matthew 26:56)
- The crowds shouted, “Crucify him, crucify him! (Luke 23:21)
How can we keep loneliness from getting the best of us?
Read and meditate on God’s word
The Bible reminds us that, despite our loneliness, as His beloved children, we are never alone. Consider the following verses.
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Psalm 23:4
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:16
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-29
Reach out to others
“For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone.” Romans 14:7
Some of us may wait for God to send people our way to counteract our loneliness. While He may lead others to befriend us, we may need to take some initiative to reach out to others. Work to build a network of other Christians to help strengthen and encourage you.
Reframe your thinking about being alone
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16
Loneliness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Jesus set the example for us by withdrawing to lonely places (sometimes without His disciples) to spend time with His Father. There are times in our lives when we need to pull away from people to reconnect and hear from God.
Serve others.
It’s hard to be lonely when we are serving others. Get involved in your community by volunteering at your church or at non-profit organizations and finding ways to humbly love and serve the people you meet. I realize in-person volunteer opportunities are limited at this time but there are still many things that you can do to help others.
REFLECT
Reflect on and write down times in your life when you experience loneliness.
If you are in a period of loneliness in your life now, how can you use this to enhance your relationship with the Lord?
