We are called to love our neighbors, but some people can make it REALLY difficult. Bullies are probably among the most difficult to love. Let’s explore what bullying is. A simple definition is “one who uses superior strength or power to intimidate people.” As further definition, it is harmful, targeted behavior that can happen in the workplace, at church, in the community, or in life in general. You can even be married to or in a close relationship with a bully! I have seen bullying in action more than I’d like to admit over the years. In my years as a Human Resources leader, I have seen bullying bosses and team members who are bullies. I have also seen bullying occur outside of work, even at church!
It’s really hard to deal with situations when you have a child who is being bullied. I believe that this hurts more and is even more difficult to deal with than if you are being bullied yourself.
Here, we will focus on adult bullies. You would think that adults would be past bullying others, but many did not change their ways after middle and high school. They take their insecurities into their adult lives and pick on others they view as weak and susceptible. To expand on this, I don’t think that people set out to bully others or cause them pain. In most cases, there is probably some underlying reason that is motivating them to act this way. This may often be a result of their own experience and pain. Maybe they were even bullied, and this is their way of dealing with that.
The Bible does not speak specifically about bullies or bullying, but there are many biblical principles that apply to the issue.
- Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31)
- Don’t intimidate or manipulate people (James 1:27, 1 John 3:17-18)
- Treat others the way we would like to be treated (Luke 6:31)
- Every person, regardless of their looks and actions, is created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).
Jesus was a victim of constant bullying from His enemies. When the high priest questioned Jesus soon before he was crucified, a temple official slapped Jesus in the face for daring to speak the truth. Jesus did not back down from these religious persecutors. He stood his ground and demanded to know why the official had lashed out. I believe that Jesus was showing us that, if we are being bullied, it is okay to stand our ground. Further, we should put our faith into action.
If we are bullied, we should respond in a Christ-like manner. Here are some principles to keep in mind.
Remember who you are in Christ
The first thing we can do is to remember who we are in Christ and that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). We shouldn’t let the lies that bullies tell us influence what we think of ourselves. God loves and cherishes us. We were even made in His image!
Don’t seek revenge
As tempting as it may be, we shouldn’t try and get back at a bully or seek revenge. (Romans 12:17) As Christians, we must remember that God is the one that can judge the world in righteousness, not us. (Romans 12:19)
Respond with kindness and love
We should respond to the bully with kindness and love. Easier said than done, right? Scripture tells us that we should love our enemies and pray for them. (Matthew 5:44) And we should overwhelm our opponents with the goodness and love of God. (Romans 12:21) Perhaps in showing them kindness, their hearts will be softened to Christ.
Forgive
Forgiving isn’t excusing their behavior or allowing them to continue in their abusiveness. Rather, it’s more about your heart than theirs. This will keep your heart free from bitterness, revenge, or the need for retribution.
Remember that the bully isn’t your real enemy – Satan is. He will use others to get your eyes off of God’s love.
God may intervene in the lives of the most bitter, hardened, and evil hearts to change them into the likeness of Christ for the building of God’s kingdom. Remember…nothing is too hard for God!
REFLECT
Are you dealing with a bully in your life currently? Is so, how will you follow the tips shared in this lesson?
