“Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else.”
Galatians 6:4
Often when I’m feeling like I have gotten to a good place in my life, along comes someone that seems like they have it much better in comparison. I know that I personally have the tendency to make comparisons, and I’m pretty sure that I’m not alone in that. But comparing ourselves to others steals our peace and joy!
We may perceive that others have more money, a better house, a better job, and more well-behaved or successful kids, which makes us feel bad about ourselves. Never has this been more prevalent than with the emergence of social media where the Joneses are in our face all the time. It just takes a scroll to see an update that makes us feel envious or like our life pales in comparison to others. I know that I feel pangs of jealousy when I see pictures of fabulous vacations, families that seem to have it all together, or a younger friend looking fabulous in her bikini.
We compare our circumstances or abilities to someone else’s and come to this conclusion: I could never do it like he/she does it. And you know what? We were never meant to! God doesn’t need two people who are just alike. He has uniquely and precisely created you and me with specific gifts and talents to do what He’s called us to do. Who are we to question His plan for us?
Reflect on what it says in Ephesians 2:10:
For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do his good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
We have great value in God’s eyes, so why do we constantly make these comparisons? It is so easy to think that if we had more or knew more, we’d be happy. However, even people who “have it all” still struggle with feelings of insecurity. The Bible opens with Eve, a woman who had everything, but it wasn’t enough for her. She wanted more and was tempted to try to get it.
What can we do to stop comparing ourselves to others?
Become aware of, and avoid your triggers
Start noticing the triggers that cause you to play the comparison game. Social media is a big one for most of us. Are there other activities or circumstances that frequently make you feel discontent about your life? Identify those and try to avoid them.
Realize that other people’s “outer appearance” can’t be compared to your “insides”
More often than not, you can’t use a person’s outward appearance to judge the reality of their life. People carefully craft their social media and public personas. I know that I’ve personally been shocked when that “perfect couple” announced they were splitting up. Or, in the worst possible scenario, someone who seems to have it all together commits suicide.
Count your blessings
Think about what you have and are already blessed with. Try to focus on what you have, not what you don’t. Think about how fortunate you are to have the people and things that are in your life.
Focus on the Lord
Focus on Him when you are tempted to compare yourself with others. David was given armor that was too large for him when he was going to fight Goliath. David didn’t go searching for different armor. Instead, he focused on God’s character. He knew that God had helped him in the past and would continue to as he faced Goliath. We need to constantly remind ourselves of His faithfulness. We can be content as long as we keep our eyes focused on God, the only one worth looking at. We have much greater things to do than size ourselves up or measure our kids against the neighbors’.
It’s time we stop comparing ourselves to others. God made you to be you and He thinks you’re magnificent. Take courage in that amazing thought – I am.
REFLECT
Is comparison an issue that you struggle with frequently?
If so, what triggers you to compare yourself to others?
What are some things that you will do to try to overcome the tendency to compare?
