Are you tired of dealing with drama in your life? Do you know anyone that you would classify as a drama queen? Do you sometimes create drama yourself?
As I have gotten older, I have less tolerance for drama. I just want to be around peaceful people, doing positive things and enjoying life. My new mantra – Simplifize, don’t dramatize. I know simplifize is not a word, but it rhymes. And I would probably try to use it in Scrabble.
A drama queen is a woman who makes every issue and problem about her. Drama usually surrounds her and, if it isn’t already there, she will create it. And there are plenty of drama kings out there as well!
Here are some things that may indicate that you are dealing with a drama queen:
- She keeps tabs on everyone just in case she needs material to create drama
- She gives with the expectation of receiving
- She makes a big deal out of little things
- She stirs things up by gossiping and manipulating to cause trouble and arguments with others
- She never sees herself as part of the problem – there is always someone or something else to blame
- She is never satisfied unless she gets her way
- She demands compassion but extends none
- She dramatically shares the highs and lows of her life and expects others to ooh and aah over the things she shares
- She likes being the center of attention and thrives on the chaos she creates
So you may not be or know a full-fledged drama queen, but many women (and men) display at least some of these characteristics.
Drama queens aren’t usually that self-aware and you may hear them say, “I don’t do drama!” Which makes me wonder if I am one because I am writing this chapter and saying I don’t like drama. 😊
Of course, the Bible never used the term drama queen. I think it’s probably more of an urban dictionary thing. But drama queens go way back in time, and there are definitely some examples in the Bible.
Here’s a few:
- Rachel, Jacob’s wife, had a big rivalry with her sister Leah, also Jacob’s wife. Jacob loved Rachel the most, but she was unable to conceive. On the other hand, Leah had had numerous children. Rachel said, “give me children or I will die!” (Genesis 30:1)
- Jezebel was a jealous, vengeful queen married to King Ahab. Next to where they lived, there was a vineyard which Ahab envied and desired. The owner declined to part with the vineyard. In turn, Jezebel falsely accused him of cursing “God and the king” resulting in his death. (I Kings 21:5–16)
So what we can do to minimize the drama in our lives?
- Choose our friends carefully– The Bible tells us, “the righteous choose their friends carefully” (Proverbs 12:26). I’m lucky enough to have pretty much drama-free friends at this point, and I think that’s by design. I have distanced myself from friends that I’ve had in the past that demonstrated drama-queeny behaviors on a regular basis. Take an inventory of your friends and focus on those who are building you up, not tearing you down or draining you emotionally and spiritually.
- Establish boundaries and limit time with drama-filled co-workers and family members – You may have co-workers and family members who tend to be drama queens. During my career in HR, I have frequently come across folks with excessive drama. They thrive on stirring things up in the workplace and often display a “victim mentality”. Lucky me! They are what we call frequent flyers in the HR department.
I also have a few family members (one of which I birthed) that tend to get mired in drama. It’s not so easy to avoid the drama where they are involved. You can choose your friends but not your family! When dealing with dramatic coworkers, family members, and friends, I recommend erecting some boundaries around your time and avoid engaging in their drama where you can.
- Don’t enable them– Enabling is ignoring the issue and allowing people to continue with their bad behavior. Jesus never enabled others to continue with sinful, unhealthy behaviors. He empowered them to change.
- Pray for them – Ask Jesus to purify their hearts so that they can refresh, rather than repel, others. And ask him to help you with your reactions!
If you think you might be a drama queen, use this PEACE acronym to help elevate yourself from these tendencies:
P – plan to go to God first when you feel the need for the attention and affirmation of others
E – endeavor to be quiet (think and pray before you speak)
A – avoid obsessing over your image and let God get the glory
C – cease your dramatic stories
E – entrust the Lord with your problems knowing that he will address in his perfect timing
When we know God, through Jesus Christ, there is no need to engage in pointless drama!
Here are a few verses to wrap up this chapter:
“for you are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?” 1 Corinthians 3:3
“If you keep on biting and devouring each another, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, live by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” Galatians 5:15-16
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9
REFLECT
What are some actions that you
will take to reduce the drama in your life?
Wonderful read….