I have done a lot of research on leadership. A Google search of “great leader” yielded 905,000,000 results. After combing through numerous sources and from personal experience and observations, I have concluded that the best leaders are those that “lead with love”. Leading with love isn’t the warm and fuzzy feelings of love, but the kind of love that allows others to be imperfectly human. Examples might involve the kindness of noticing that someone is having a bad day or noticing that they seem overwhelmed with the pressures of life. A leader that leads with love shows others that he/she cares about them and their lives at work and outside of work.
Below are some important behaviors and traits that leaders who “lead with love” exhibit.
They show respect
A Harvard Business Review study found that respect is the most important behavior for leaders to demonstrate in order to garner commitment and engagement from employees. To get respect from others, you have to give it! If others don’t trust and respect you, you aren’t going to get very far as a leader.
“Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.” 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13
Doug Conant, the former CEO of Campbell’s Soup, serves as a great example as it relates to respect. When Conant took over leadership in 2001, the company had lost half of its market value, sales were declining, and there had been a series of layoffs. He was able to turn things around, and set all-time performance records, in large part by showing employee’s respect. He wrote more than 30,000 individualized notes of thanks to his 20,000 employees. And he took every opportunity to connect with people and make them feel valued.
They manage themselves
A leader that can’t manage his or herself isn’t going to be able to effectively lead anyone else. As leaders, we need to be able to maintain our composure and self-control. Google did a study on what makes managers most effective. One of their findings was that employees most appreciate managers who are even-keeled (patient, poised and positive) and don’t lose their cool.
Self-management involves quickly scanning a range of potential responses to a situation – and choosing the one that leads to preferable outcomes. It involves regulating time, attention and emotions, while remaining aware of our strengths, weaknesses and potential sources of bias. Self-control is an extremely important component of self-management and is one of the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). Demonstrating self-control can serve us well in life and in leadership!
They demonstrate integrity
Integrity connotes a deep commitment to do the right thing for the right reason, regardless of the circumstances. Employees want to work for leaders who act with integrity because they feel that they will treat them right and do what’s right for the organization. Leaders that demonstrate integrity are honest and don’t tell untruths. They keep confidences confidential. They walk the talk. They do what they say they will do when they say they will do it. The act consistently, no matter what the setting and who is involved.
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” Proverbs 11:3
They trust and empower others
“Please micromanage me,” said no employee ever. Great leaders extend trust to others and empower them to do their jobs. Micromanaging behavior often comes from the need to control how things will go. But employees don’t like it.
As leaders who lead with love, we should develop and maintain a culture that values and honors people and allows them to use their God-given creativity and talents at work, rather than forcing them to do things the way we feel is best. As usual, Jesus sets a great example for us in this area. He empowered Simon Peter, Andrew, James, and John to use their skills toward the achievement of a unified goal – The Kingdom of God.
They are humble and willing to show vulnerability
The key for leading with love is to create and nurture a culture where people feel safe to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is one of those qualities we first look for in others but is often something that we are hesitant to show ourselves. We need to know that we can ask for help when we are struggling and that we will be supported when things go wrong.
Those that lead with love, embrace their own vulnerability, openly acknowledge their imperfections, and share how these imperfections allow them and others to learn and grow. In short, they show humility. Humility is a leadership quality that doesn’t get a lot of press. In the book Good to Great, researchers studied nearly 1,500 high performing Fortune 500 companies over a 30-year period. Humility was one of the distinct characteristics found in the successful leaders of these companies.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
They give and receive feedback in a loving and caring manner
Leaders that lead with love doesn’t just give positive feedback, although they do that frequently. They provide feedback for improvement and expect others to learn from it. However, they will never do this in a way that makes someone feel rejected for making a mistake. These leaders build a culture where the tough love discussions can happen that build ever deeper connections between co-workers.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8
In addition, great leaders solicit input and feedback from their team members on a regular basis. They then incorporate that feedback to become even better leaders and to make improvements in the workplace.
They are good coaches
Google’s Project Oxygen studied what made a great manager at Google. They found that the best managers are good coaches. So, what exactly is coaching? There seem to be a lot of misperceptions about coaching out there. Coaching involves unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their performance. It is helping them learn rather than instructing them as to what they should do. It involves managing by asking questions. Jesus was the coach and facilitator of twelve men that he was helping to teach about the Kingdom of God. He was certainly a master of asking questions to help others grow.
They communicate relentlessly
The Center for Creative Leadership suggests that leaders should communicate relentlessly. This involves communicating information, thoughts, and ideas clearly and frequently, potentially using several different methods. Communication should be simple, open, and honest with no hidden agendas or manipulation of facts. Leaders who communicate well share information freely, sharing as much as they can as soon as they can. Jesus certainly understood the power of communication. The words that he spoke in his sermons, daily interactions and parables are still recalled thousands of years later.
They pass the credit and take the blame
Have you ever had a leader that passed the blame and took all the credit? If so, you probably didn’t think much of them. True leaders take responsibility for everything. They turn each misstep into an opportunity to learn instead of pointing fingers at others. They privately address others’ mistakes while taking the blame publicly without dissent. When the team is successful, true leaders pass credit onto their subordinates, knowing that they are nothing without the team.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Thessalonians 5:11
They practice accountability
Accountability is about delivering on a commitment and responsibility to an outcome. The best leaders hold themselves accountable and set the example for the team. They communicate clear metrics, expectations and goals so that employees know what’s expected. They then hold others accountable in a firm, quick and fair manner.
“So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Romans 14:12
They support career growth
The large majority of employees want to grow and develop, not remain stagnant. And I believe God wants us to continue to progress in our faith, in our work, and in our lives in general.
Great leaders take an interest in their subordinates’ careers and nurture their growth and development. Gallup found that focusing on the learning and growth of employees is critical to employee engagement. This is important to all generations, but particularly to Millennials and Gen Z.
“Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, ‘I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way you should go’.” Isaiah 48:1
They communicate a clear vision/strategy for the team
Part of being a great leader is creating and communicating a clear vision and strategy for your team. This involves:
- Reinforcing the mission, vision and values of the company.
- Making sure employees know why they exist by connecting their jobs to the big picture and communicating the impact of their work.
- Painting a compelling picture of the future.
- Articulating the strategy and goals of the team.
Jesus obviously had a clear vision – to introduce the kingdom of God to the world. He recruited and engaged followers to be “fishers of men” and help carry out his vision.
“Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” Mark 16:15
In conclusion, a real leader is a servant of all.
“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:13
Jesus was willing to wash the disciple’s feet during their last meal. This wasn’t some empty, symbolic gesture. To follow Jesus’ example, we should serve those that follow us.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
As shepherds (or leaders), we must learn to be imitators of the Good Shepherd – following the example of Christ, leading by serving and guiding with love. Of course, we are human and it’s hard to do this all the time but how much better would life be if we followed this example consistently as we lead in the home, community and workplace.
“And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them. “ Psalm 78:72
