Do you feel regret for some things in your life? Do you feel you should have been a better parent? Taken another job opportunity? Been a better spouse? Taken a different direction in life? There are a thousand different scenarios of things that we could regret.
I have recently been struggling because my life hasn’t turned out according to my plan. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God’s plan is better, but admittedly still struggle. I have always thought of disappointment as the emotion we experience when this occurs. However, I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart and was intrigued by the distinction that she made between disappointment and regret.
She defined disappointment as unmet expectations where you believe the outcome was outside of your control. She said that regret is closely aligned. However, with regret, you believe that the outcome was caused by decisions and actions that you took – or didn’t take. Both disappointment and regret arise when an end result is not what we wanted, counted on, or thought would happen. In the movie, We’re the Millers, a guy had a tattoo that said, NO RAGRETS, across his chest. And I’m pretty sure he should have some – or at least one!
Do I have disappointments and regrets? Sure, I do – but, based on these definitions, some of what I defined as disappointments are really regrets. I am very hard on myself and there are always lots of wouda, coulda, shouldas. Regardless of how you define these terms, they can impede your life if you don’t release or accept them. Where you can, take some action and don’t assign yourself to a lifetime of regret. Start by asking yourself these questions:
- Is there something that needs to be said?
- Is there a choice that needs to be made?
- Is there something I need to stop?
- Is there someone I need to apologize to or mend a relationship with?
- Did I do the best I could at the time?
- What good is going to come from continuing to beat myself up?
After you have processed these questions, let that sh*$ go!
In conclusion, God doesn’t want regret to rob us of our joy in him or cripple us in our pursuit of the life He wants us to live. Use the situation that you regret as a learning opportunity that taught you some things you can apply to your life going forward. In conclusion, give your regrets over to Christ and he will cover them with His mercy, grace, and love.
REFLECT
Think about things that you are currently feeling regretful about. Once you have identified them, ask yourself the questions above and let that sh*$ go!
