A few weeks ago, I posted an introduction to the Enneagram – a tool to improve self-awareness and understanding of others. It is a study of the nine basic types of personality. It explains why we behave the way we do and points to specific directions for growth. In this post, I am going to explore the heart/feeling types – Twos, Threes and Fours. This means that these types relate to the outside world through their feelings.
TYPE TWO – The Helper (aka The Giver)
- Their mantra is “to help others”
- Empathetic, warm, caring and generous.
- Motivated by the need to be loved and valued – and to express positive feelings toward others.
SUPERPOWER – Emotional attunement
CORE FEAR – Of being unwanted, not being loved
CORE DESIRE – Want to be loved, needed and appreciate
TWOS AT THEIR BEST
- Loving
- Caring
- Nurturing
- Good communicators
- Approachable
- Excellent team players
- Generous
- Empathetic
- Intuitive
TWOS AT THEIR WORST
- Manipulative
- Trouble saying no
- People-pleasing
- Overly accommodating
- Don’t attend to their own needs
- May get angry if they aren’t feeling valued
- Prideful when they do good for others
- Martyrlike at times
Sins, Passions and Virtues
The Enneagram type 2 sin or vice is pride. It corresponds to the Enneagram passion of pride with the antidote being the Enneagram virtue of humility.
Development Opportunities
- Take care of yourself – First and foremost, remember that if you are not addressing your own needs, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to meet anyone else’s needs without problems, underlying resentments, and continual frustrations.
- Be conscious of your motives when you decide to help someone – While doing good things for people is certainly an admirable trait when you do it because you expect the other person to appreciate you or reciprocate, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
- Work on saying no – Work on saying no to things that don’t fit in with your values or priorities.
TYPE THREE – The Achiever (aka The Performer)
- Their mantra is “to achieve and succeed”
- Self-assured, action-oriented, charming, ambitious, competent, and energetic.
- They want to be productive, achieve success and avoid failure.
SUPERPOWER – Productivity
CORE FEAR – Not being valued/admired
CORE DESIRE – To succeed, appear successful, avoid failure
THREES AT THEIR BEST
- Wired for productivity
- Optimistic
- Confident
- Competent
- Goal-oriented
- Charming
- Love checking things off
- Motivating
THREES AT THEIR WORST
- Overly focused on image/status
- Feel they are what they do
- Self-promoting
- Vain
- Impatient if slowed down on goals
- Shape shifters
- Overly competitive
- Workaholics
Sins, Passions and Virtues
The Enneagram type 3 sin or vice is deceit. It corresponds to the Enneagram passion of deceit with the antidote being the Enneagram virtue of truthfulness.
Development Opportunities
- Be authentic – You will impress people more deeply by being authentic than by bragging about your successes or exaggerating your accomplishments.
- Recognize that you are more than what you do
- Practice mindfulness – This can include deep breathing exercises, meditation or prayer.
TYPE FOUR – The Individualist (aka The Romantic)
- To express individuality
- Creative, authentic and intuitive.
- Motivated by the need to experience their feelings, to be understood, and to be unique.
SUPERPOWER – To touch and move people through their creativity
CORE FEAR – Having no significance or meaning
CORE DESIRE – To be special and unique
FOURS AT THIS BEST
- Creative
- Compassionate
- Introspective
- Intuitive
- Supportive
- Unique
- Passionate about self-expression
FOURS AT THEIR WORST
- Negative self-image
- Self-conscious
- Moody
- Self-absorbed
- Feel fundamentally disadvantaged/ focus on what they do not have
- Envious
- Dramatic
- Have trouble letting go of feelings
Sins, Passions and Virtues
The Enneagram type 4 sin or vice is envy. It corresponds to the Enneagram passion of envy with the antidote being the Enneagram virtue of equanimity.
Development Opportunities for Fours
- Practice gratitude – Reflecting on the positive aspects of life can be helpful for Fours since you tend to focus on what you don’t have.
- Find an outlet for your creativity – Art, writing, poetry, dance, or whatever creative outlet works for you.
- Practice positive self-talk – Practice replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.
