We have all been victimized in our lives. Maybe bad things happened in your childhood. You had a tough breakup. You lost your job. You suffered the loss of a loved one. Bad things happen to all of us. How we respond to these things makes a big difference.
Have you ever been guilty of having a victim mentality? This involves blaming everyone and everything else for what happens in your world. You think that the future only holds bad things for you. The deception, “It’s never my fault”, is at the core of the victim mentality. I have heard my daughter recently say, “things never work out for me” and “the odds are always against me.” This shows a victim mentality. And for sure, she has been a victim – as we all have – so I’m writing this lesson to help her overcome this tendency.
This may sound strange, but sometimes people get comfortable being the victim. They grow used to feeling sorry for themselves and inviting others to join them. They like having pity parties. I know I love a good pity party once in a while, complete with Hallmark movies and ice cream.
The Bible validates that there are definitely victims in life:
“But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.” Psalm 10:14
This verse tells us that, if we commit ourselves to God, He will help us to overcome! God does not want that moments when you have been victimized to become a mindset that will affect everything that happens in your life. He wants your mindset to be that of a victor! He wants your mindset to reflect, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Jesus is the ultimate example of someone who was victimized but never had a victim mentality. Can you fathom everything that he endured? They whipped him, plucked his beard, spat at him, mocked him, put a crown of thorns on his head, hung him from a cross. And he was completely blameless. Jesus never complained about how he was treated or felt sorry for himself.
1 Peter 2:22-23 says “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth. When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”
Remember Joseph? He is another example of someone who could have easily slipped into a victim mentality. He was sold into slavery by his brothers and then falsely accused by a woman who wanted to seduce him. Later, he was forgotten by a man who promised to put in a word for him to help him get out of jail. I think I would definitely have a chip on my shoulder after going through all of that! Check out how Joseph reacted when he encountered his brothers again.
“But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.” Genesis 51:19-21
We all face struggles in our lives, but we can choose our attitude in the midst of them. We can wallow in self-pity, take no responsibility and allow the victim mentality to cast blame on everyone and everything. Or we can start taking responsibility for our lives and our actions and be a victor instead of a victim!
Whenever you feel the urge to slip into a victim mentality, declare the following Scriptures over your life.
“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
REFLECT
Do you ever tend to slip into a victim mentality?
If so, what will you do to be victorious over victim mentality?
