Below is the intro to my new book (unedited) –
I am not your typical Christian author. In fact, I self-identify as a “hot mess.” In case you don’t know what a hot mess is, here is a definition from the Urban Dictionary – when someone’s thoughts or appearance are in a state of disarray, but they maintain an undeniable attractiveness or beauty. My definition is someone that doesn’t have their sh*# together.
Many of the Christian female authors that I am familiar with seem to have it all together and display some admirable characteristics. This is not to put anyone in a box as I know that people with many types of characteristics are called to write, but I have observed some commonalities among those I follow. Many seem to have a husband or father that is a preacher, and, at a minimum, grew up in the church. I, on the other hand, only attended church occasionally on holidays growing up. I didn’t come to know Jesus until I was about thirty and my marriage was falling apart.
Other authors seem to have close-knit families including several children that they adopted or are fostering. And they frequently homeschool their kids. My first marriage ended in divorce. I later remarried and ended up with a blended family with two daughters and two stepdaughters that I barely survived. And regarding homeschooling, my daughter, Alexis, asked me when she was in middle school, “Mom, why don’t you homeschool us?” To which my youngest daughter, Sydney, replied in a very serious tone, “Alexis, I don’t really think that Mom is smart enough to do that.” I know for sure that I couldn’t do the math at that stage.
Finally, not sure why this is, but I have come across several Christian female authors that live on farms. Most don’t appear to work outside the home, which may be because they have been successful enough as authors that they don’t need to and farms are a lot of work. I’m not interested in living on a farm, although I do love farmhouses. My “farm” would have to be on a small lot with minimal yard work and a Starbucks and shopping nearby. I wouldn’t mind a few cute baby goats. However, the one time I did goat yoga, one pooped on my mat which wasn’t too pleasant. Finally, I’m pretty sure that I will have to work outside the home until I can retire unless this “hot mess” gig really takes off.
More about my mess … I compare (we are in the intro and I have already compared myself to other authors). I try to control. I’m often stressed and anxious. I have a crazy mind. I really like wine. My sense of humor is off-color. But I sure love Jesus and honestly don’t know how I would have survived the last few years without my faith. I have felt a continued nudge to share my issues through writing so here I go with my second book about being a hot mess. I’m not sure how many it will take!
I will give myself credit that, over the past few years, I have gone from “hot mess to progress” but still have quite a bit of work to do. What about you? Are you a hot mess? I am quite sure that we all have our hot mess moments. Maybe you are just a warm or smoldering mess but a mess, nevertheless. I love it when I rhyme!
Are we born with mess? I don’t think so. I believe we accumulate it as we walk through life, a little more each day. Our earthly disappointments and experiences impact who we become. We try to protect ourselves out of fear and shame and this limits our potential. We try to avoid rejection. We try to find our worth through pleasing others. We try to achieve success according to the world’s standards. By the time we get to fifty-something, unless we declutter regularly, we have likely accumulated a mountain of mess. This mess gets in our way and holds us back from doing things we were meant to do and being who we were meant to be.
I don’t know about you, but a cluttery, messy space stresses me out. In my house, I do a rather good job of decluttering. Every time my family can’t find something, I am typically to blame. My stepdaughter still brings up a Scooby-Doo that I took to Goodwill over ten years ago.
My husband likes to keep everything. One of the many ways that we are opposites. Until recently, he had his books and notes from college thirty-plus years ago. And they were mostly about Wood Science, a major he has never used. I try not to declutter his stuff as he is very protective, but boy do I want to! Unfortunately, I am not as good at decluttering other things in my life as I am around the house. In fact, I could be on an episode of Hoarders for all the issues that I have accumulated over the years that don’t add value.
Have you ever seen Hot Mess House on HGTV? There are four organizing types which are shared on this show. I am a ladybug which means I can shove everything into a cabinet or closet and be okay with it. I just don’t like it in my line of sight. Pretty much how I have lived my life until recently. I generally kept my mess inside and looked okay on the outside. Now the mess has exceeded the space and is coming out of the closet! At this point, I am ready to embark on the journey of decluttering my closets and decluttering my mind.
In this book, we will be exploring issues that many of us have accumulated in our lives including comparison, control, guilt, people-pleasing, fear, disappointment, and more. These issues can result in strongholds which are mindsets or attitudes that typically impact our lives in a negative way.
I love acronyms and have created this one to describe what I would like to achieve as a result of this book.
H – Helping
O – Others
T – To
M – Make
E – Every
S – Stronghold
S – Scarce
It really sums up my goal – to help others declutter the issues that are holding them back from their best lives. Are we going to be able to totally declutter all these issues at one time? Probably not, we are human and will always struggle but it is possible to go from hot mess to progress, chipping away at one area at a time by turning to God and by using the information shared. So, let’s get started!
