Stuffing Your Feelings
Have you ever tried to hold in or push down negative feelings? Stuffing, also known as suppressing our feelings, is defined just as it sounds. It is literally pushing feelings down by denying them. We spend a lot of time and energy trying not to feel pain in our world today and our society reaffirms this as the right approach.
The Problem with Stuffing Our Feelings
We may feel that this is a good thing at the time, but these negative feelings will come out one way or the other. It may not be obvious because it may be in the form of anxiety, panic attacks, health problems, isolation, or anger – but rest assured these emotions will be released.
I went through a traumatic situation around a loved one’s death a few years ago. I recently have realized that I have been doing a lot of stuffing over the past few years. When I see or hear something that reminds me of the situation, I will promptly turn it off or distract myself with something else, rather than take the time to really feel and grieve the situation and the loss.
I thought this was a good way to deal with these feelings, but my counselor told me that I need to take the time to sit with it and feel the pain in order to truly move forward. But who wants to do that? It’s painful and uncomfortable.
Moving Past the Pain
God doesn’t want us to avoid or squash our emotions. Rather, he calls us to bring our emotions to Him and to his people. So, what does it look like to bring our emotions to God? Psalm 22:1 provides us with a powerful illustration.
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?
This passage shows us a man in deep distress who is feeling alone and abandoned. As in this example, we can come to God with a raw heart and lay our burdens before Him. He will hear us and walk with us in the pain. So, when your emotions are overwhelming, turn toward God and put your feelings into words.
Have you heard of Lamentations? There is actually a five-chapter Book of Lamentations in the Bible that does just this. Lament allows us to fully face and name our pain and then creates space for resolving it. Lamentation is about release, about letting the painful emotions flow. Psychology Today says that lamentation is a good thing and is essential to psychological health and leads to personal growth.
In Conclusion
If you are stuffing your emotions to avoid pain, consider this approach. And consider seeing a counselor who can help you process your pain. Don’t stay stuck by stuffing or refusing to acknowledge them like I have!
