Do you have an inner critic? In case you don’t know (and I’m jealous if you don’t), an inner critic basically gives us an internal monologue of all the things we suck at. It sends us messages like we aren’t worthy enough, smart enough, or good enough. When we start to believe these negative thought patterns, it holds us back from being our best selves. So, let’s learn more about this inner critic and, more importantly, how we can tame it!
I have named my inner critic, Marjorie. She is a skinny, blonde, goody-two-shoes. Marjorie has a successful career, an impeccable house, and a family that has it all together. She is an excellent cook and is basically good at all the other things that I’m not. She is very “judgy” and says things to me throughout the day that make me feel dumb, incompetent, and generally like I can’t do anything right. Marjorie tries to undermine me at every turn. Marjorie is basically a beeotch (sorry I know this is a Christian blog, but she is!).
So, what can we do about our Marjorie’s?
Here are 3 actions to consider:
- Provide positive reinforcement – Make sure you are reminding yourself of your accomplishments and the positive things about you on a regular basis. If you were going to give a friend some constructive criticism, wouldn’t you try to balance it out with positive feedback over time? You need to do the same for yourself! Toot your own horn occasionally and recognize your accomplishments.
- Talk back – Start to notice when your inner critic is coming into play. When you recognize it, then you can start to talk back! I think naming my inner critic gave me an odd kind of power. Now, I tell Marjorie to shut up and buzz off when she starts her nonsense.
- Treat yourself like you would a friend – You wouldn’t say such harsh things to a friend, so you shouldn’t say those things to yourself. Remember the tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21) and that applies when you are talking to yourself. Cheer yourself up like you would a friend by treating yourself with kindness and compassion instead of being so self-critical.
When we are being critical of ourselves, we need to remember that there is no condemnation for those in Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us to take every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5) We can do this by training our minds to let go of our self-judgment, embrace ourselves as we are, and not focus on our failures. When our inner critic arises, we can acknowledge these thoughts, let them pass, and replace them with kind words about ourselves.
REFLECT:
What would you name your inner critic?
What will you do to tame him/her?
