How did you imagine your life? Has it turned out differently than you expected? I feel sure that, for pretty much all of us, life hasn’t been exactly as we planned it. Mine certainly hasn’t been. But I know that it’s not my plan that prevails – it’s God’s plan. And our plans often do not align. I know His plan is better but sometimes it doesn’t SEEM like it.
Here are a few of my plans:
- To be rich and famous – kind of kidding here. I never thought I’d be rich and famous. But maybe richER.
- To be basically home free with parenting when the kids went off to college.
- To retire by the time I’m 60 – probably not happening.
- To be well traveled.
Here are some of the things that I DID NOT plan for:
- Life being so hard…
- Life to go so fast
- A failed marriage
- Going through two job eliminations
- A blended family with four kids – never imagined having more than two
- A child who is struggling through college with health and physical problems, unhealthy behaviors, emotional problems, drama, etc.
- My stepdaughter getting married to someone she knew for three months and not telling us until after…
- Our kids getting three cats, three dogs, a bearded dragon and a snake – told them the bearded dragon and snake were NEVER allowed to visit our house – oh and almost forgot the hedgehog
- Rainbow hair, piercings (lots of them) and tattoos
- Having the “itises” in my back – arthritis and bursitis
The list goes on, but I’ll stop there.
When things don’t go as we had planned or expected, we often experience disappointment. Disappointment is defined as the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the defeat of one’s hopes or expectations.
Whether we like it or not, life should be less about what we desire and more about what God desires for us. As Jesus prayed and asked God to spare Him from suffering on the cross, “yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). God is working out a plan that is bigger than us, and that will be better for us in the end.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
When we experience disappointment, we may sometimes want to blame God. But God didn’t disappoint us, life’s circumstances and other people did. When something disappointing happens in our lives, it’s not a time to blame God, it’s a time to run to Him!
Here are some positive ways that you can deal with disappointment:
- Grieve and then release your disappointment to God.
You have experienced a loss, so you will likely need a period where you grieve the situation. Cry, exercise, read, take a trip, or whatever will make you feel better. Face your disappointment and then release it to God.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”. Psalm 34:18
- Pray
Spend some time talking to God. Tell him how you are feeling and ask him to help you accept your circumstances and move forward with your life.
- Assess and adjust your expectations.
Assess your situation and then try to readjust your expectations regarding the things you want in life. Learn to place your hope in God and ask Him to help you manage your expectations.
- Don’t wallow in your disappointment.
Instead of wallowing in your disappointment, do something. Help others, take up a new hobby, volunteer. If one dream dies, pick another and keep moving forward.
In her book, It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way, Lysa TerKeurst says:
Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like.
She says in her book that the human heart was created in the context of perfection in the Garden of Eden. We definitely don’t live there now. We live in a broken world where we aren’t promised everything we want. God knows what is best for us and He will deliver us.
“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.” Psalm 34:10
REFLECT
Where have you experienced disappointment in your life?
Are you currently in a period of disappointment?
What are some actions you will take to move past it?
Leslie, this is spot on! I am going through a major disappointment in my life currently and you describe it to a T. This was just what I needed today. God bless you!
I cried reading this tonight. It came at the exact moment I needed it! Thank you😊